Best Scholarship Essay Answers

By Gen and Kelly Tanabe

Imagine you are a scholarship judge. You have an enormous pile of applications to review. From these forms, you can get basic information about each applicant. But without being able to meet each candidate, how do you get a sense of who they are and if they are the most deserving of your money? One of the best (and often only) ways to get to know the applicants beyond their cut-and-dried statistics is through their essays.

For many scholarship competitions, the essay is the most important part of the application and where you should spend the most time. Scholarship judges view the essay as their window into who you are, your passions, and your potential. Regardless of your accomplishments and academic achievements, you need to write a powerful essay if you want to win a scholarship. Here’s how to do it

1. Be Original

For your essay to be a winner, it needs to be original. Remember that your essay will be among hundreds of other essays that are being judged. If your essay does not stand out, it will be forgotten, along with your chances of winning. There are two ways to be original. The first is to find a unique topic. Think about what makes you…well,you. What point of view or life experience can you share that is unique? One judge we know uses the “thumb test.” Place your thumb over your name at the top of the essay, and ask yourself if any of your classmates could have written this essay. If the answer is “yes,” then it fails the thumb test and is probably not original enough.

Unfortunately, finding a unique topic is very difficult, and that leads us to the second way that you can be original: Take an ordinary topic and approach it in an original way. For example, if you were writing about your career goal to become a doctor, it would be tempting to talk about how you want to help people or how your interest in science led you to medicine. This will be the same approach for many applicants. If your essay is going to have any chance of winning, it needs to be different from those written by other competitors. So spend some time thinking.  What is it specifically that makes you want to become a doctor? Can you cite a concrete example? Maybe when you were young, you broke your arm and had a front row seat to how doctors and nurses helped transform your damaged limb back to a regular and healthy arm. Focusing on this event and examining and analyzing it may yield a very powerful and certainly original essay. The truth is that we all have experiences that make us unique. The key is to zero in on these and use them in your scholarship essays.

2. Answer the Hidden Question

Have you ever been asked one question but felt like there was an underlying question that was really being asked? Maybe a parent has asked you something like, “Tell me about your new friend Katelyn.” But what your parent is really asking is, “Tell me about your new friend Katelyn. Are her 16 earrings and tattoo-laden arms a sign that you shouldn’t be spending so much time with her?” In most cases the essay question is just a springboard for you to answer the real question the scholarship judges want addressed. An organization giving an award for students who plan to study business might ask, “Why do you want to study business?” But the underlying question they are asking is, “Why do you want to study business, and why are you the best future business person we should gift with our hard-earned money?”

For every scholarship, you will be competing with students who share similar backgrounds and goals. If you are applying to an award that supports students who want to become doctors, you can bet that 99% of the students applying also want to become doctors. Therefore, the goal of every scholarship judge is to determine the best applicant out of a pool of applicants who at first glance look very similar.

So let’s distill the underlying question that the scholarship judges really want answered, that is: Why do you deserve to win? (Your answer should not be, “Because I need the money!”)

3. Serve a Slice of Life

As you are explaining why you deserve to win, it is important that you also reveal something about yourself. Obviously, in the short space of 500 to 1,000 words, you can’t cover everything about you. This is why one of the most effective techniques is to share just a “slice of your life.” In other words, don’t try to explain everything. Just focus on one aspect of your life.

If you are writing about your involvement in an activity, it may be tempting to summarize your involvement over the years and list numerous accomplishments. However, this would sound more like a resume and it would not tell the judges something that they could not learn by reading your resume. However, if you focus on just one aspect or one day of an experience, you could spend some time below the surface and share something about who you are. In other words, you would be sharing a slice of your life.

4. Get Beyond the Superficial

If you are writing about involvement in a sport, don’t use common topics like how sports taught you the value of teamwork or how you scored the winning touchdown, goal, or point. These are repetitive topics. Using them risks having your essay lost among the hundreds of others that sound similar to yours. It’s perfectly fine to write about common topics like sports, but think of a different angle. Maybe you had a unique experience or can focus on an aspect of athletics that is often overlooked.

One way to do this is to make sure you include specifics. A common mistake in essay writing is to use general statements instead of specific ones. Don’t write, “Education is the key to success.” Instead, give the judges a slice of your life. Show them how education has impacted your life in a single experience or realization. If you are writing about your desire to become an astronaut, you might explain how this began when your father bought you a model rocket for Christmas. Focusing on a specific example of your life will help readers relate to your experiences and ensure that your essay is memorable and (as a bonus) original.

5. Share Something Personal

While some questions ask about a national or international problem or event, the scholarship committee still would like to know something about you. After all, they are considering giving their money to you—the person.

Some of the better essays written about serious issues like drug abuse or nuclear proliferation have also found ways to incorporate information about the author. One student who wrote about the U.S. arms policy spoke about his personal involvement in a club at school that hosts an annual peace conference. He was able to tie in the large international policy issues with the more personal aspect of what he was doing on an individual level. It was a great policy essay, which also revealed something about the writer

6. Expand on Your Accomplishments

Winning a scholarship is about impressing the judges and showing them why you are the best candidate for a monetary award. Your accomplishments, activities, and talents all help to prove that you are the best fit. Since you will probably list your activities on the application form, use the essay to expand on one or two of the most important ones.

However, don’t just parrot back what is on your application. Use the opportunity to focus on a specific accomplishment, putting it into the proper context. Share details. Listing on the application that you were a stage manager for a play does not explain that you also had to design and build all of the sets in a week. The essay allows you to expand on an achievement to demonstrate its significance.

7. Avoid the Sob Story

Tear-jerking stories may be popular subjects for television specials and song lyrics, but they rarely, if ever, win scholarships. A common theme students write about is why they need the scholarship money to continue their education. While this is a perfectly legitimate topic, it is often answered with an essay filled with family tragedies and hardships—a sob story. Again, there is nothing wrong with writing about this topic, but don’t expect to win if the intent of your essay is to evoke pity.

If your main point is: “I deserve money because of the suffering I’ve been through,” you have a problem. Scholarship committees are not as interested in problems as they are in solutions. What have you accomplished despite these hardships? How have you succeeded despite the challenges you’ve faced? This is more significant and memorable than merely cataloging your misfortunes.

Plus, don’t forget that to win you have to be an original. The sob story is one of the more common types of essays, and it is hard to compete when you are telling the same story that literally hundreds of other students are also writing. Remember that every applicant has faced difficulties. What’s different and individual to you is how you’ve overcome those difficulties.

8. Have Someone Read Your Essay

There is an old writer’s saying: “Behind every good writer is an even better editor.” If you want to create a masterpiece, you need the help of others. You don’t need a professional editor or even someone who is good at writing. You just need people who can read your work and provide useful and constructive feedback.

Roommates, friends, family members, teachers, professors or advisors all make great editors. When others read your essay, they will find errors that you missed and help make the essay clearer to someone who is not familiar with the topic.

You will find that some editors catch grammar and spelling mistakes but will not comment on the overall quality of the essay. Others will miss the technical mistakes but give you great advice on making the substance of your essay better. It’s essential to find both types of editors.

9. Recycle and Reuse

Recycling in our context has no relation to aluminum cans or newspapers. What we mean is that you should reuse essays that you have written for college applications, classes, or even other scholarships. Writing a good essay takes a lot of time and effort. When you have a good essay, you’ll want to edit it and reuse it as much as possible. Sometimes, to recycle an essay, you must change the introduction. Try experimenting with this. You may find that while you might have to write a few new paragraphs, you can still use the majority of the original essay.

One word of caution: Don’t try to recycle an essay when it just doesn’t fit. The essay must answer the question given by the scholarship organization. It’s better to spend the extra time to write an appropriate essay than to submit one that doesn’t match the scholarship requirements.

Final Thoughts

Writing scholarship essays may not be the ideal way to spend a Friday night or Sunday afternoon. But remember that these essays can win you hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars for college. Try to keep this in mind when you feel burned out. If you really get down on writing, take a break. Go outside. Watch a meaningless show. Then when you are refreshed, get back to your essay.

Every successful scholarship winner that we’ve met—and we’ve literally met thousands—has gotten tired or set back and contemplated quitting. But each and every one of them persevered and didn’t give up. They pushed ahead and finished their essays. If they had given up, they would never have won the money that they did, and that all-important college diploma would have been a far more expensive (and for some impossible) accomplishment.

Gen and Kelly Tanabe are the award-winning authors ofHow to Write a Winning Scholarship EssayandThe Ultimate Scholarship Book.

 

For the A Better American Scholarship program, we’ve read hundreds of scholarship essays and have learned a lot about what works and what doesn’t. Therefore, we decided to write this guide to help students win any scholarship award.

The tips and tricks we offer here are framed in terms of academic scholarships for students, but they’re applicable to any piece of writing asking someone for somethingincluding funding proposals in the civil sector, to writing cover letters for jobs, even to grants for writers

Here’s your 7 step guide to writing the best essay you can.

The crucial first step: identifying your audience

As with any written undertaking, one of the first things you need to think about in writing a scholarship essay is who you’re writing for. Don’t be fooled here: your professors are not your audience.

Instead, the eyes reached by your scholarship essay will usually belong either to a panel of experts in a particular field or subject or a group of generally educated, non-specialist members of the organization offering the scholarship.

Understanding your audience is fundamental to writing a successful scholarship essay. Ask yourself questions like these:

(a) Who is on the committee, and what is their background?

Are they educated non-specialists, or are they all PhD’s in your specific academic subfield? Do they represent universities, industry, private philanthropists, or other organizations? Are they native English speakers, and if so from what country?

(b) What are their goals?

A scholarship committee from Amnesty International will have a different agenda than one overseen by the US State Department. Is the scholarship offered by an organization committed to fighting climate change, or promoting traditional values among today’s youth, or simply promoting awesomeness.

Written communication doesn’t take place in a vacuum; you’re writing for someone to read it.

You don’t talk to your mom about your Biology class the same way you would discuss it with a fellow Bio major, and the way you discuss it with scholarship essay reviewers should also be tailored to them and what they’re searching for.

The hardest part: answering the question

It seems like the most basic component of an essay, but somehow it inevitably turns out to be the most difficult for many of us.

Take this sample college admission essay topic from The Common Application:

Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?”

If this question sets your head buzzing with thoughts of how you always wanted to go to medical school just like Dad until you discovered your passion for social work, hold on.

The story of how you blossomed personally from Daddy’s protégé to social problem-solver is undoubtedly a great one, but it’s not what’s being asked for here. There are two simple questions posed: what made you challenge a belief or idea, and would you do it again?

If you have trouble sifting the main question out of its supporting context, try some of these approaches to getting a strong grasp on your essay question:

Locate the question marks

In the example above, the declarative statement that comes first is asking you to think about something and frame your argument within it, but it’s not the question. Keep in mind, not every “question” will take the form of a question – sometimes it’ll be prompted by declarative phrases like “discuss” or “compare and contrast”.

Simplify it

Rephrase the question(s) in your own simple terms. The second sentence of this example question has five words, and you can simplify it down to just one: “why”. The second sentence can also be boiled down to: “would you do it again?”

Mark it up

Highlight, underline, strike through. Do what you need to keep your eyes on the scholarship prize. In this example, you might strike a light line through the entire first sentence, highlight the second two, and underline the phrases “what prompted you” and “same decision again”.

Your most powerful weapon: the introduction

 

Once you understand your audience and have identified the guiding light of your question, it’s time to start crafting your essay. Your introduction looks like your biggest hurdle, but it’s actually a powerful weapon.

Even your first line could set you apart from the crowd of cookie cutter applications. It’s the most effective way to signal to your essay reader right away that you’ve come to rescue them from the monotony of reading dozens of indistinguishable essays, that you’ve got a fresh take on the topic that they might even enjoy reading.

Here are some concrete components of your secret weapon:

Don’t state the obvious

I’m writing to express my interest in and qualifications for the University College Excellence Scholarship” is an awesome way to squash your chances of winning that scholarship. The reader already knows why you’ve written the essay, and while one sentence doesn’t seem like too much to waste on redundant detail, that’s the twentieth time they’ve read that exact sentence today.

Just as bad is the classic “I will first discuss my motivations, then my qualifications, and finally what this scholarship would mean to me personally and professionally.” You just used 21 words and all you’ve said is “duh”.

Answer the question

In the last step you “answered” the question for yourself, but now you’re answering it for the reader. You should be able to answer the main question in one strong, general declarative statement here.

For example, if the question is “what kind of research would you do with this grant,” your introductory paragraph should include a sentence that sounds something like, “With the University Summer Research Grant, I will spend three months in Washington, D. C. conducting archival research on the role of four prominent national newspapers during McCarthyism and the Red Scare.”

Tell, don’t show

The introduction should comprise a few concise sentences that establish and frame an argument that you will support with the rest of your essay.

This is not the place for details about how spending your weekends teaching reading skills to underserved inner-city kids and volunteering at the local adult education center has shown you that many people in our society lack opportunities to succeed. What it should tell is that your extensive background in volunteering with the economically disadvantaged has given you the appropriate mindset to tackle a social problem that the grant will fund.

Remember, you’ll do the “showing” in the body of the essay.

While you probably won’t win a scholarship on the merits of your introduction alone, you can easily lose it here. Focus on pragmatically telling the reader what they need to know about the impending essay and finding the right level of detail for a succinct introduction of your ideas or arguments.

Delivering your message: the writing process

 

A good understanding of your audience and a strong introduction are only prerequisites to a good scholarship essay, but they’re not enough to win you the money. It’s ultimately the content of your essay, what you say, and how you say it that will determine your success.

The body of your essay is not the place to narrate your CV or show off how broad your vocabulary is. It’s where you answer the question being asked in a detailed, argumentative way.

For some essays, that question will be a broad one: what are your goals? How will this scholarship affect your professional career? If given this opportunity, how will you change the world?

Others will be tailored very specifically to a goal: if applying for a scholarship or grant to carry out research, you’ll be asked to describe your project plan in detail; if applying for an international exchange, you may need to painstakingly detail how your being selected would serve the organization’s goals of increased intercultural communication.

This is the most divergent area of the scholarship essay writing process, because every funding opportunity will look different and ask different things.

Still, here are some universal tips to go by:

Show, don’t tell

Ah, yes, that one sounds more familiar. Never in a scholarship essay (or really any other kind of essay) should you make claims like “I am an excellent time manager and am highly qualified to work with diverse groups of people.” Anyone can say that. 

Instead, try something like “During my sophomore year of college I spent each weekend organizing the multicultural movie night at the student union center. This forced me to adhere to a strict schedule while working with a team of students from all departments, years, and cultural backgrounds across the university.”

Listen to George Orwell

While he may have been a bit too absolute in laying down the laws of good writing, George Orwell’s “Politics and the English Language” might be the closest thing we have to a cure-all for bad writing in the modern day.

Orwell’s focus is on getting rid of bloated language with lots of big words and replacing it with pragmatic language comprising accessible, concrete words. Your essay readers would rather read that you are “media savvy and sensitive to PR trends” than that you are “exceedingly competent and knowledgeable on the subject of public relations”.

Be clear and concise

A centerpiece of your writing strategy should be finding the shortest, most direct and logical route to conveying your ideas. Get to the point.

Write assertively and in the active voice

Don’t “be motivated by” something; instead tell the readers that you find your inspiration in it, that you commit yourself to it. Using the active voice puts you and your actions at the center of an essay, making you an active agent rather than a passive recipient of your fate.

State your accomplishments tactfully

Don’t just restate information from your résumé, but instead say why your accomplishments matter. Your academic achievement is useless unless you can convince your essay readers that it has given you transferable skills relevant to the task at hand.

Don’t translate the line on your resume that says “Student Body President, Fall 2013 – Spring 2015” to “I was Student Body President for five semesters.” Instead, tell your readers why that matters: “During my tenure as Student Body President at State University, I learned how to bring multiple stakeholders together around a table and facilitate a compromise.”

The job’s not over: revising and editing

For most of us this is the phase that tests our discipline. After hours, days, weeks, or even months of pouring all you’ve got into a scholarship application, it’s time to tear up your essay. Remember, editing your own work is hard, but entirely possible if you know what to do. It’s the testing ground where many writers fall victim to despair and give up.

Here are some tips on how to get through the editing process with your mind and essay in tact:

Reread your essay prompt and essay together

Think of them as a Q&A session. Does your essay address and answer every part of the question, or does it sound more like a politician standing behind a podium? If your essay talks around rather than about your question, then it needs rewriting.

Reread each individual sentence

Ask yourself some questions about every statement you’ve made. Does this make sense? Does it logically follow the sentence that comes before it and logically precede the sentence that comes after it? Does it relate to the topic of the paragraph and the overall argument of the paper?

Read it out loud

Your final product should read like it was written by a knowledgeable and educated person, not a robot. Reading aloud can help you identify awkward sentence structures and unnatural phrasings that should be edited or removed.

The final touches: proofreading

Did you think proofreading was covered by editing and revision? Proofreading is a different step entirely, and not one you should gloss over as you near the finish line.

Most scholarships receive a lot of very well qualified applicants. This means that the final decision between two 4.0 GPAs and beautifully crafted essays might be made based on a few typos. Take some steps to avoid letting careless mistakes steal your excellent essay’s spotlight:

Trick your brain

Your literate brain is efficient and hates wasting time, so it does a lot of autocorrecting for you. Even if thre are mssing or incorect lettrs in a sentence, your eyes and brain don’t want to waste time nitpicking, because they still understand.

To counter this, try reading it over it at a different location (like a coffee shop), which allows the brain to think it’s reading something new. Or print it out in a different font – a smart trick that will help you see your work with fresh eyes. 

Get a second set of eyes

After three proofreads you may feel like your essay is good to go, but by now your eyes have gotten numb to the words and letters on the page and can no longer be trusted.

When it comes to catching grammar mistakes and typos, an editor can make the world of difference. It doesn’t have to be a dissertation editing service, or cost money either. Get a trusted friend or family member to read over and edit it. 

They might find a “form” accidentally transposed into a “from” where you missed it, or perhaps a common your/you’re or there/their/they’re mistake. Writing is an art, but when it comes to correct grammar it’s a technical skill too. 

Know your on- and off-campus resources

If you’re on the hunt for scholarships to start college, your high school guidance counselors are your best resources, and Language Arts or English teachers make for great essay readers. Also check sites like Fastweb to search scholarships and get advice on applying for them.

If you’re already in university, then there’s very likely a broad support structure in place that you might not even be aware of.

Here are the two key ones that most North American universities offer, as well as an online resource available and applicable to all:

Offices of National Scholarships/Fellowships

Most four-year institutions have an office somewhere on campus that’s there to support you at least in applying for the well-known scholarships (like Rhodes, Truman, Fulbright, and Boren).

Some will support you in everything from applying to small academic research grants from your department to writing admissions essays for graduate school. The best universities will have a whole office staffed to coach you through the entire process, from identifying opportunities to how to claim the scholarship funds on your taxes.

University Writing Center

This will usually be located in an English or Rhetoric department. Your university writing center is most likely staffed by graduate students specializing in writing and other communications disciplines.

They’re not there to proofread or check how you formatted your citations, but they are there to help you write with better, more concise and efficient language that best showcases your accomplishments and qualifications.

Purdue Online Writing Lab (OWL)

The OWL is the be-all-end-all of online academic writing resources. For everything from formatting citations to how to construct logical arguments, make this your go-to guide.

Bonus: Become a better writer through the process

When we see an opportunity to win a thousand bucks for our studies, most of us don’t think of it as a writing exercise, but that may actually be the greatest value in the whole process. While the statistical odds of winning the award are stacked against you in most cases, you’ll almost certainly end up a better writer than when you started.

Remember, the skills you’re learning in applying for competitive scholarships – persuasive writing, succinct expression of ideas, rhetorical appeals, logical argumentation – are applicable far and wide.

Professional grant writers are an obvious example, but good scholarship essay writers also go on to become successful online marketers, journalists, and bloggers, as well as just about any other profession that requires efficient, goal-oriented communication.

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